How to Have a Sleepover Where Nobody Feels Left Out

Feeling left out at a sleepover is a special kind of lonely, because you cannot exactly leave. The good news: if you are the host, a few small moves can make a huge difference.

Before anyone arrives

• Think about the mix. If most of the group are close friends and one person is newer, that is totally fine. Just know you might need to pull them in a little more.
• Keep invites private and kind. Talking about the sleepover loudly at school in front of people who are not coming can sting. Not everyone can be invited, and that is okay. Just do not make a show of it.
• Plan the sleeping spots. Who is on the bed and who is on the floor is a bigger deal than it looks. A floor pile where everyone is together often works better than one bed and one outsider.

Pick games everyone can win

Inside jokes are the enemy of a mixed group. Pick activities where nobody needs years of history to join in.

• Team games that mix people up. Draw names for teams instead of letting the closest friends always pair up.
• Games that are about the future, not the past. Would You Rather and MASH work because nobody has an advantage.
• Something you play together. A game where the whole group has one shared score, like Beat the Game, means everyone is on the same side.
• Questions that let everyone talk. Go around the circle so the quiet person gets a turn without having to fight for it.

The best host move is noticing who is quiet and handing them the next turn.

During the night

• Do a quick check. Every so often, look around. Is anyone on the edge? A simple "Nina, your turn to pick" can change her whole night.
• Explain the inside joke. If old stories come up, take ten seconds to fill everyone in. Now it is a group joke.
• Phones together, not apart. One person on their phone is fine. Three people watching one screen while someone watches the ceiling is how Nina's night happened.

If you are the one feeling left out

It happens to everyone at some point. You are allowed to suggest a game. You are allowed to say "wait, what's the story?" and you are also allowed to text a grown-up if you really want to go home. None of that makes you dramatic.

Need ideas for games that work with any group? We have 21 of them in our sleepover guide.

Harper noticed Nina eventually. She said "get up here, there's room" and moved over. It was a little squished. Nobody minded. In the morning, Nina was the one telling the funniest story at breakfast.

Neon Pink articles are written to start conversations. They are not medical or professional advice.