What's happening?
She says she's fine, but she's exhausted. Homework, practice, friend drama, family plans and a dozen small decisions pile up. There's no single dramatic problem you can point to.
Some teens tell you exactly what's wrong. Others need time, or talk only while doing something else, like driving or cooking.
What's behind it?
It helps to know the bigger picture. In the CDC's 2025 national survey of high schoolers, about 43% of girls said they had felt persistently sad or hopeless during the past year, compared with about 24% of boys. That's better than in 2021 and 2023, but still higher than a decade ago. A girl who's struggling is far from alone, and far from unusual.
Sleep is part of the story. Teens' body clocks shift later during puberty while school still starts early, so many run short on sleep every night, and the American Academy of Pediatrics links too little sleep with a higher risk of depression.
How you respond matters too. The CDC's guidance for parents of teens is surprisingly specific: when she shares a feeling, respond calmly and with empathy, and hold off on advice until she asks for help solving it. Teens may shut down when we jump straight to fixing.
And sometimes the most helpful change isn't a new coping skill. If the schedule leaves no breathing room, the answer may be to take something off the plate rather than add one more thing she has to do well.
You and her
When she's stressed, it's easy to feel that nothing you do reaches her. A large national study of more than 12,000 students in grades 7 to 12 found that teens who felt close to their parents and family, cared for and connected, had lower emotional distress and fewer suicidal thoughts. That sense of connection was linked with lower risk on nearly every health measure the researchers looked at.
It's a snapshot, so it can't prove closeness caused the difference. And connectedness in that study meant feeling close to and cared for by family, not a set number of hours together. Small moments, like a ride, a meal or a text, are where she can feel it.
What this might look like
After a week of tests, practice and friendship trouble, she says she's tired. You offer a planner. She looks defeated, because it feels like one more assignment.
Something to try today
Ask, "What's taking the most energy this week?" Just listen to the answer. Then, if she wants, look at the next seven days together and find one thing that can be shortened, shared or skipped.
When to step in
If changes in her mood, sleep, eating, schoolwork or friendships last a few weeks or more, start with her pediatrician, as the National Institute of Mental Health suggests. If she ever talks about hurting herself or seems in crisis, call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, any time. Press 2 for Spanish.
One thing to remember
Sometimes the kindest response to stress isn't a new skill. It's a lighter week, and a parent who listens first.
The research behind this
Original sources and research limitations
Ages are a guide, not a deadline. These findings describe groups, not every individual child. The examples and suggestions are Neon Pink editorial ideas.
What the research found: Persistent sadness or hopelessness was reported by about 43% of high school girls and 24% of boys in 2025, down from 2023 but still above 2015 levels. Parents are advised to listen and validate before problem-solving.
Who was studied or consulted: CDC Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 2025, about 10,500 usable questionnaires from students in grades 9 to 12 (CDC, MMWR Supplement, 2026; CDC, Youth Health in Focus: Mental Health) · CDC, Tips for Coaching Teens to Recognize and Manage Emotions · AAP, School Start Times for Adolescents, 2014.
You and her: 12,118 students in grades 7 to 12 from a national US school sample (Resnick et al., JAMA, 1997; abstract). A one-time snapshot from the 1990s, so it shows links, not cause. The small-moments examples are Neon Pink's.
What it doesn't tell us: Survey answers are self-reported, and "sad or hopeless" isn't a diagnosis.
Also drawn on: NIMH, Children and Mental Health · SAMHSA, 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline · FCC, 988 fact sheet. The planner example and "lighter week" idea are Neon Pink's.
Read the sources
- CDC, MMWR Supplement, 2026
- CDC, Youth Health in Focus: Mental Health
- CDC, Tips for Coaching Teens to Recognize and Manage Emotions
- AAP policy statement, School Start Times for Adolescents, Pediatrics, 2014
- NIMH, Children and Mental Health: Is This Just a Stage?
- SAMHSA, 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- FCC, 988 fact sheet
- Resnick et al., JAMA, 1997